Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

You found a love potion, and your friend tried to use it on an attractive popular girl, but he accidentally dropped it on the neighbors dog. Now the dog won't stop following him. How would you help him?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t cotton to rapists

What are the reasons behind Europeans preferring to visit third world countries over taking holidays in their own continent?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What are the ten cars that make me no longer feel inferior?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I always feel very tired after I do some exercises, even after a night's sleep. What's the problem?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

How are you spending your best time?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What is your response when someone says "how may I help you"?

I can count

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Is it painful for men to wear bras, panties, and tampons?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

How did you get to be a leftist?

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I see through liars

Why do people have polyamorous relationships?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What were the first few days, weeks, months and then years like after finding out about your spouses infidelity? How did your feelings, and yours & their approach to the situation change in the immediate aftermath compared to later down the line?

I actually pay taxes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for fakery

Will you share your wife? Can she take both of us at the same time?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I can read

Why do men love to stink/being smelly?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity